In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
