I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We're too hungover to prance.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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