i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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