How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
