there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
