Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just had sex on a roof
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
