Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She needs sedatives and a leash
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
