they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
