1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
