Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
