Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
You know itās going to be a rough day when you scream āGet fuckedā at your alarm clock
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
