Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
