don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize