forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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