i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
