dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
