In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
