Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
