chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
