I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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