So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize