hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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