so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
