Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
zippers are such a cool invention
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
