look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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