we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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