this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He felt like a one man threesome
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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