I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize