he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I love you. Go after that dick
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
