: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
