i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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