Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
