Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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