she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
