So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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