did you get engaged???
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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