my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
