I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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