I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
