Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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