Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
