We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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