I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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