You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize