I must be too annoying 4 u.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
