did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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