So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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