i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
