Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
