Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize