And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
