I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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