it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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