I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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