I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
