If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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