how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
