she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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