dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
