census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
