I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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