she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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