I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
