i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
