Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Can I color on your dick again?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
