i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want to be your penis for a week.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
