What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize