I've blown a few things in my day
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
