Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sext me about skeletons
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
