I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
