you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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